Hunter and prey
by Kendrene
Summary: Shepard killed Saren and the Citadel is now safe. The Sovereign however managed to escape and is still a threat. Will Commander Shepard resume her hunt? Pairing: femShepard/Liara, Ashley/Joker.Reviews are welcome.
1. Prologue: Behind the Veil

Hunter and prey

Prologue- Behind the Veil

The sentient spaceship Sovereign stood out like a dark mass of shadow against the dim light of distant stars. Few ships ventured behind Perseus' Veil, aside from those of the Geth, that were the unquestioned masters of that isolated part of the galaxy.

Those inferior sinthetics disgusted her, even though they treated her as a deity. The Sovereign did not care for their empty adoration; they were simple extentions of her will, useful because they could go where she couldn't to carry out her orders. She and her brothers would let the Geth survive , but they would never be more than servants. The Geth were imperfect machines, created by organic hands.

Confined to that secluded region of space, the Sovereign was forced to wait. Binding her fate to Saren's fortune had been a mistake. She had allowed him freedom, thinking that he could serve better as ally and the Turian repaid her trust with failure. The fact that he'd encountered his end in fire and blood didn't give her any satisfaction.

"_Faster, faster"_

The wordless message spread through her metal belly, reaching every Geth that was on board. Repairs were taking too much time, and the enemy was surely searching for a way to stop her.

The Sovereign's synthetic servants were working hard to repair the damages that the human Spectre and her allies had caused to the ship's systems. Since she was eternal she had never really cared about time, but now that all organic species were aware of her existence, she was facing a danger that could lead her to destruction. Secrecy had been the most powerful weapon at her disposal; the Protheans and those who came before them had never known the source of their annihilation until it was too late. Now the whole galaxy _knew, _and the person she deemed responsible for that had somehow managed to escape her wrath.

"_Sheepaaard."_

A vibration full of blind hatred reverberated through the ship. It was an ultrasonic wave that a living being, provided with a normal hearing, wouldn't have perceived. It pierced the Geth's minds, charging their artificial synapses with electricity.

"_Alert." _The message was passed on, from circuit to circuit, from memory to memory. The Geth were not programmed to understand emotions; the Quarian engineers had not gifted them with the mechanic counterpart of an heart. Even if they did not comprehend it, they perceived the Sovereign's fury and, they were urged to work faster. Their mechanical hands moved swiftly over the ship's parts they were tending to, in an artificial parody of terror. Geth did not know fear, but they knew that it was not wise to displease the Sovereign.


	2. Chapter 1: Open Wounds

Chapter one- Open wounds

That unexpected meeting had upset her more than she'd though possible. Until the Asari counsellor's proposal, she had considered herself on suspension. A consistent part of her still wished she was. Kyla Shepard was sick and tired of putting right other people's mistakes. When she had cautioned the Council against Saren and the threat that he and the Reapers represented, they'd dismissed her warnings as the ramblings of a madwoman. Then, when the danger became impeding, they asked her to solve the crisis.

She had not yet agreed to the counsellor's offer, but she knew that she probably would. She'd never wanted to become a hero, but circumstances had forced that role on her, and now that people saw her that way it was impossible to turn away from her responsibilities.

She raised her eyes, trying to shake off her worries, and noticed that the others had left, granting her the time she had requested. All others had left, except for Liara.

Kyla let out a deep sigh. The sight of the Asari scientist made her realize how insensitive she'd been, and she remembered what Williams had told her. _"Liara is really__worried__for you" _the gunnery chief had said.

"What are you thinking about, Shepard?" the Asari asked, approaching her.

Kyla shrugged, feeling suddenly uncomfortable.

"I have to settle some matters, and I was wondering if you'd like to come with me."

She hoped that Liara would accept. Kyla knew that if she wanted to have a chance to survive her next encounter with the Sovereign, there was a _problem_ she had to solve first. She had to face her past and if she survived that ordeal maybe she could find the strength to do what was needed. The memory of how the Sovereign had used her fears as a weapon to destroy her mind, was engraved on her bones and still sent shivers of horror down her spine. She did not really want to take that step, but if the informations that the counsellor possessed were reliable, she had no other choice.

Liara smiled and nodded her head in agreement.

"Where are we going exactly?"

"We're going to visit a friend of mine."

Liara examined Shepard's words in her mind. Who was this friend they were going to meet? The part of the Citadel's Wards that they were walking through, housed many illegal businesses and that fact made her wonder about Shepard's intentions. Keeping her eyes fixed on the commander's back, she decided that she would try to keep her out of trouble as much as possible. After asking her to follow, Shepard had not uttered another word and she appeared tense, as if she was going to do something she did not really want to. Liara had never seen her so nervous and the soldier's behaviour disturbed her. As always, when her thoughts lingered on Shepard, she found herself filled by conflicting feelings. The human Spectre had once told her that the members of her race were _messed up_. She was beginning to feel that way too.

Even so, she blessed the moment she had first set eyes on the young woman.

"If I remember correctly, this should be the right place." Kyla's voice brought her out of her reverie.

She had stopped in front of an anonymous metal door marked by angular, black numbers.

"_A _warehouse?_" _The Asari was slightly disappointed.. Before she could voice her doubts, Shepard raised a gauntleted fist and knocked three times.

After a few moments, the door opened slightly and a man blocked their way, peering at them suspiciously from the room's shadowed interior,. He was tall and lean, and even in the dim light the Asari could see he was young. The short beard he sported did not mask his age.

"It's you," his pale blue eyes narrowed, "what do you want?" It was quite clear to Liara that he did not like the commander.

"Why don't you let us in, Alexandr? I have important matters to discuss with your father." Shepard's voice remained cold and detached, but the way she clenched her fists revealed that she returned his feelings with interest.

The young man complied reluctantly, then his eyes fell on Liara and a lustful smile appeared on his lips.

"I would not say anything disrespectful if I were you, son."

A second man approached the group and laid a restraining hand on Alexandr's shoulder.

"But father, I was just..." The young man's voice was chocked by outrage, as he tried to justify himself.

"Shut up and get lost, son. There's plenty of girls out there. " Alexandr's father interrupted his son then pushed him towards the door. He opened it, and with a final push, he shoved his son outside.

An amused smile played on Kyla's lips.

"He's your living image, Ivan."

The man returned her smile, running a hand through his thin hair.

"Unfortunately he's provided with all the stupidity of youth." He heaved a long sigh, "I only wish he'd inherited his mother's nature."

His eyes were misted over with sadness, and he looked as if he was contemplating something irreparably lost. Then he invited them to follow him.

"I'm sure this is not a simple courtesy visit and if you're here to do business it's better if we make ourselves comfortable."

As they followed him into his office, Kyla had the time to observe him undisturbed. She had already noticed that he'd aged since their last meeting and the hesitant way he moved showed her how much tired he was.

"What brings you here?" Ivan asked after they were all seated. He'd poured himself a generous quantity of vodka but when he'd offered it to them, they had declined to his great disappointment.

Without an answer, Kyla rolled up the left sleeve of her uniform: a thin scar was visible on her forearm.

"I should have known. Why do you want to remove the _confiner_ now?"

"It's necessary"

"Do you think it's that simple to get rid of me? I won't help if you do not provide a decent explanation." His eyes hardened, filling with anger.

Kyla buried her face in her hands.

"I wish I had one. It just...it seems the right thing to do. I've run away from the past for most of my life. I can't run any longer." Her voice was tinged with quiet desperation.

"You're deadly serious, aren't you?" His face softened and he reached across the table to squeeze her hand. He could remember his first encounter with the young officer, when she'd implored him to silence the voices that crowded her mind.

Liara, who'd followed their exchange with increasing curiosity, cleared her throat to draw their attention.

"What are you talking about?"

Ivan's eyes widened in surprise. He turned his piercing gaze on Shepard.

"You told her _nothing_?"

Kyla reddened.

"She must be very dear to your heart if you followed her here without question." he said to Liara.

The Asari smiled.

"And you," he pointed an accusing finger at Shepard, "you own her some answers."

Before the Spectre could find the strength to reply, he left them to prepare his surgical instruments.

"Shepard?"

Kyla was painfully conscious of Liara's closeness.

"Kyla look at me, please."

"_Funny."_ Kyla thought, "_she's never called me by my first name before."_

A concerned frown creased Liara's forehead.

"You don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to. The fact that you chose me to accompany you is enough."

Kyla stood up and began to pace the floor restlessly. At last she sat down again, occupying Ivan's seat.

"No, Ivan is right. I owe you more than this," she bit her lower lip thoughtfully, "Akuze. You could say that my life really started after that mission. What I saw on that planet changed me and made me what I am now."

Liara nodded.

"I read your profile."

"Then you know about the thresher maws. When we landed, they surrounded us. We were quickly outnumbered. My squad was destroyed under my eyes and there was nothing I could do. But..._I felt them die._ Every emotion they were feeling, I felt it too. Their terror, their pain."

Liara shivered. She had seen many of the sub-terrestrial creatures during her excavations and she remembered the panic that had caught her on those occasions.

"You're saying that you can read people's minds?" seeing her incredulous expression, Kyla laughed bitterly, "you think I'm mad, don't you? That's what I thought too when I returned from that mission."

"Kyla, I don't..."

The human went on, without letting her finish.

"Doctors told me that it was a consequence of the stress I suffered and I believed them. I wanted to believe that they were right. These "_voices" _decreased with time, but even now I find myself exposed to other people's emotions when they're strong enough. Physical contact aggravates the problem. "

"It's some sort of..._empathy_, then."

Kyla shrugged. "I suppose it is. Humans cannot meld their minds with other creatures, like the Asari do. A human with my _gift_ would be considered crazy or treated as a liar."

A horrified look crossed Liara's face.

"That's terrible," she said, her voice reduced to a whisper. She could understand why Shepard saw her talent as though it was a curse.

"What does this _confiner_ do exactly?"

Kyla absent-mindedly traced her fingers along the scar.

"It's a modified biotic amp, connected to my nervous system and it helps keeping others' emotions out of my head."

Before she could explain further a loud knock at the door interrupted them, signalling that Ivan was ready.

Kyla raised her head, tensing suddenly. She tried to conceal her fear, but her whole body was trembling. Liara stood and went behind the commander's chair, then hesitantly, because she feared Kyla's reaction, she embraced the human.

Tension slowly left Kyla, as if the Asari was absorbing her fears. She relaxed in Liara's arms, feeling safe. The familiar and gentle touch of the Asari's mind soothed her and, for a while, Akuze's heritage seemed less dreadful.


	3. Chapter 2: Healing

Chapter Two- Healing

Ivan's study was equipped with the best medical technology on the market, and even thought she knew that some of those instruments had been illegally acquired, Kyla had not reported him to the C-Sec. He was a friend and besides she had made sure, through careful enquiries, that he did nothing really dangerous in there. In his youth Ivan had been a promising scientist with a sharp mind, but his natural tendency to infringe rules had ruined his career. One day ExoGeni, the private consortium for which he'd worked since he'd finished university, had fired him. Finding himself unemployed, he'd accepted every job he'd been offered, moving from one end of the galaxy to the other. When she had first met him, on Arcturus station, he'd been engaged by the Alliance as a consultant surgeon.

When they entered he was washing his hands. The fabric of the white coat that he was wearing, was strained over his prominent belly. The coat was probably a size too small. Either that, or it was Ivan that ate too much.

"Shall we proceed with the operation?"

"Of course," Kyla replied briskly, " the sooner this whole thing is over, the better."

"The take off your shirt," he ordered, accompanying her towards the surgical bed.

She complied, then she stretched out on the bed, trying to find a comfortable position. An impossible task, since the bed consisted in a simple slab of metal.

Kyla shivered as goosebumps covered her arms.

"Don't you earn enough money to pay the heating bills? I'm freezing."

Ivan laughed. "I thought that marines were tougher than that," he teased.

"We're made of flesh in case you haven't noticed." Kyla grumbled. She crossed her arms beneath her breasts, trying to prevent her limbs from trembling. Ivan approached her and, using some leather straps, he gently secured her to the bed. He then applied several electrodes to her body, so that her vitals were constantly under control.

"You'll anaesthetize me, right?" the Commander asked, a hint of fear in her voice.

"An injection." Ivan's amused grin went from ear to ear, "unless needles scare you." Before she could reply, he forced her to turn her head and gave her an hypodermic injection in the side of her neck. Her skin burned and itched for a few moments, then torpor engulfed her.

"It's only a local anaesthetic, I fear," he said lifting a strange tool. Restrained as she was, Kyla could not clearly see what he was doing. She was glad, since she'd always thought that medical instruments had a disturbing resemblance to those employed in torture. "These substances are not easily found in the black market. I hope it will be enough." he added.

He bent on her arm and Kyla felt something cold slide on her skin. She caught a sudden movement on her right and saw that Liara had approached to see what the surgeon was doing. Their eyes met and the Asari gave her a reassuring smile. "All will be well," she mouthed silently.

"Several stitches will be needed," Ivan's eyes never left her wound and his voice was almost distracted, "the _confiner_ is embedded deeper than I remembered."

He worked in silence for several minutes and Kyla squeezed her eyes shut: the steady pumping of her heart resounded through her ears and filled her thoughts. She shuddered in sudden pain as agony shot down her forearm: her teeth bit down into her tongue, hard as she tried to stifle a yelp. The coppery, repulsive taste of blood, filled her mouth.

"It's done," Ivan announced in tones of satisfaction, "be still now, so I can patch you up." He laid a hand on her bare shoulder to emphasise his words. His finger were cold and sleek with her blood and Kyla felt the dreaded reaction of her mind as it opened towards the outside, erasing her personality.

Someone whimpered in the distance: the Spectre did not realize that the voice she heard was her own. The world revolved around her in flashes of black and white then it faded as extraneous emotions overcame her, driving her into unconsciousness.

Scattered images flashed through Kyla's mind and crowded on one another behind her eyelids. She found herself back on her way to Akuze, with the rest of her team. Dreams collided with reality, until she could no longer distinguish between them.

"_Shepard?" She turned her gaze in the direction of the voice. Trombs, her fellow soldier, was watching her uneasily._

"_Is something wrong?"_

_She shook her head, then sighed as she returned her eyes to the ship's porthole. Akuze was already visible and it constantly grew nearer as minutes passed. _

" _I have a bad feeling about this," she stated, "but I guess it's just standard pre mission anxiety."_

_Trombs shrugged. "Don't worry, pal. It's just a re-con mission. And if we find any hostile down there, we'll kick his ass." Kyla envied her comrade's confidence. As much as she tried, she was unable to shake off the subtle feeling of an impeding catastrophe. _

"_Facts will prove you right Trombs, God willing. Come, we should check your equipment before we land."_

Memory changed and Shepard was swept along by the constant flow of images.  
_"I'm...tired...Shepard, leave me here. You must..." Blood poured from Tromb's mouth and, as she eased him carefully on the ground, he moaned. _

"_I won't leave you here." Her voice came out harsher than she'd intended and she softened her tone, "if only we could reach that crest over there we would be safe. The thresher maws can't follow us up a hill."_

_He shook his head sadly._

"_You will have to go alone, Shepard. I'm only slowing you down" Even in the dim light of early morning, Kyla could see that his features were twisted by agony. The earth trembled beneath their feet and a gust of wind brought distant sounds of guns firing and of eerie, desperate shrieks. She hastily examined his injures: the gash on his stomach appeared more serious now that the light had increased. Blood had formed a hard crust over it, but as he winced under her touch, fresh, deep-red liquid oozed through her fingers._

_Earth trembled again and Kyla raised her head: a dangerous gleam entering her eyes as she scanned their surroundings. The thresher maws had found their trail. They were two miles away, maybe less. _

_She felt Tromb's hand on her arm; he forcefully seized her wrist urging her to turn around so that their eyes could meet. His dark irises were already veiled. _

"_Go," he whispered, "survive and tell others what happened to us. Tell them that we succumbed, but we didn't surrender." _

_She rose and turned away from him, fighting back tears. Muscles straining in a deadly run she began to climb up the slope toward safety. The sun rose higher in the sky, hot and pitiless, but the ice that had grown inside her didn't melt. _

Kyla regained consciousness in Ivan's study and bolted upright. Silent sobs racked her body and on her cheeks she felt the wetness of the tearsshe had not cried that day. She was barely conscious of Liara's presence at her side, then the Asari's arms encircled her firmly.

"Hush," the scientist whispered into her ear as her hands gently caressed Kyla's back, " it eases with time. It eases."


	4. Chapter 3: When Duty Calls

_Author's notes: This chapter is really short I know, but between university and work the fact that I find the time to write is a small miracle. Please let me know what you think about it. Your suggestions are welcome._

Chapter three- When duty calls

Shepard tossed around, trying to find a comfortable position on the couch, but as much as she wanted to, she could not sleep. The stitches on her arm itched and she felt the urgent need to rip of the bandages and scratch the skin underneath. She got up quietly, grabbed the uniform's jacket she had carelessly tossed on the floor the evening before, and padded towards the living room's window. The floor was cold under her bare feet, but she accepted the inconvenience gladly. Cold would keep her vigilant. Her troubled gaze swept on the sleeping Citadel. The white, pristine buildings shone weakly under the dim light of the Praesidium's holographic sky, and her eyes involuntarily rose to those fake stars. Her thoughts drifted, and she wondered where the Sovereign was hiding. The task that the Asari counsellor's wanted to assign her, seemed impossible to carry out.

Kyla shivered and adjusted her jacket around her shoulders. She would do what was necessary. There was no one else. She turned around, leaning against the window and sighed. Liara's apartment was certainly more spacious than the small and unadorned cubbyhole that Udina had assigned her.

She had not wanted to sleep over to the Asari's place, but the scientist had fiercely insisted. Kyla smiled wryly. She knew how the other members of her crew saw the Asari: they thought that she was a naïve, small thing, but Shepard had seen her burn with anger and knew the truth. Liara was usually good-natured, but sometimes emotions got the best of her and the inner fire that slept under the ashes of her self-control, flared up furiously. In those occasions her resemblance to Benezia was clearly visible. With an exhausted sigh, Kyla left her position near the window, went to the Asari's terminal and turned it on to check the reports and mail that clogged her queue.

She had not done it in quite some time, since she had been suspended by Ambassador Udina.

As she roamed through her files, her eyes fell on an old directory, containing a collections of photographs. In a rush of longing, she opened it and watched the screen as those stills of her life slid by: her parents, her childhood friends, her first team, who had never returned from Akuze.

She brought a hand to her face and felt the thin scar that went from her left brow to her right cheekbone: that too was a _gift_ Akuze had left her, To forget, she should have lived in a world without mirrors.

Another picture caught her attention. The Normandy's crew smiled back at her from the screen. A particular face held her gaze: Alenko. Sadness hit her like a hammer. Choosing between him and Ashley had been difficult, and she still regretted that circumstances had forced her to take that decision. He'd been a good soldier, a precious ally, the irremovable rock she could cling to.

She lost track of time until a tiny noise, coming from the shadows, drew her attention.

"Sorry, Kyla. I didn't mean to startle you," the Asari closed the distance between them, and lightly squeezed her right shoulder. "Is there something wrong?" She eloquently touched Shepard's bandaged arm.

The Spectre shook her head.

"I'm just anxious about tomorrow's meeting, I guess."

Liara's eyes went to the screen and she felt a pang of jealously. A ridiculous feeling, she knew, but it was there still."You miss him," she murmured.

"I could not save him, nor Jenkins. Or your mother," the Commander's voice faltered.

Liara cupped her face between gentle hands, forcing her to look into her eyes.

"I wasn't on Eden Prime. But I saw you on Virmire and Noveria, and you did your best."

"My best is not enough. How are we going to get this done when we do not even know where to start? This mission could take our entire lives to complete!" She trailed off, unable to express her feelings.

Liara touched her cheek, gently.

"I know what you mean. The importance of this task scares me too."

Kyla's eyes closed for a moment, as she tried to assess her thoughts.

"It's just... I don't know if I can do this," her voice sounded almost hesitant and angry at the same time.

"It's not the task that scares you, then. You're shaken by doubt. Do not let yourself be discouraged. I believe in you, Kyla. We all do."

The Spectre lowered her eyes, and when she raised them, they were full of affection.

"At times I think that you know me better than myself." Liara smiled, pleased by the compliment, Shepard's face returned grave, "I only hope to be strong enough" she added.

Liara's pale yes held only confidence.

"You already are. Come now, we both need some rest. The Council awaits."

"Yeah," Kyla agreed with a grimace, "I'm sure that they will be a barrel of laughs."


	5. Chapter 4: Into the Tower

Chapter four- Into the Tower

As they got dressed for the meeting with the Council, Kyla and Liara did not talk. Both dreaded the uncertainties that awaited them, and the tension built between their bodies, grew and stretched until it seemed that a monstrous, invisible shape loomed over their lives, shadowing them with its menace. It was so early in the morning, when they left Liara's place, that the Praesidium's corridors were still empty of life, except for the occasional C-Sec patrol. Shepard enjoyed the quiet though, because it gave her the time to observe the station and clear her thoughts.

All the signs of the destruction brought by Saren and the Sovereign had been removed, and nothing marred the Citadel's white beauty, even though, now and then, the occasional pile of debris was still visible. Since, by the Council's orders all the mysterious Keepers -that once took care of the station's maintenance- had been disposed of, repairs were taking more time than usual.

"There's a lot of guards around," Liara said, scanning her surroundings, as she walked at Kyla's side.

The Commander nodded.

"I noticed. But it's normal since the Council would want to keep things under control, especially here."

As they neared the Council's Tower, a C-Sec Turian agent approached them.

"Good morning, commander," he said, positioning himself in front of them, "I'm sorry, but, according to the new security protocol, no weapons are allowed inside the Council's chambers."

Kyla surrendered her pistol without hesitation and, as the Turian took it, he looked almost relieved, as if he had thought that she would refuse.

He punched the elevator's door controls for them, and waited until it arrived.

"I though he meant to escort us all the way," the Asari commented, after the metal doors had swished shut behind them, "he actually looked scared."

"I don't blame him for being so anxious. He was the senior officer, and if something dire happens on his shift..." Kyla shrugged, leaving the rest unsaid. As a soldier she could understand how the burden of responsibility seemed to grow in times of war like those they lived in: the Turian would find himself in deep trouble if something happened to the Council while he was on duty.

The Citadel's clean appearance had been restored, she thought, but not the sense of safety that she had felt the first time she had set foot on the station. Now its corridors were heavily patrolled, and Pallin had imposed the curfew.

"Are you not coming? Joker and Ashley are already here," Liara's voice brought her back to reality. She had been so engrossed in her thoughts, that she had not noticed they had arrived; Liara had already stepped out of the lift and was casting impatient glances in her direction.

"I'm right behind you," Kyla followed her into the Tower's main hall. She lifted her eyes towards the ceiling and, as always, a sense of awe overwhelmed her. She should have felt disgust, since she knew that her surroundings were Reaper built, but the fairness of the structure took her breath. How could it be, that those destructive creatures were capable of creating such beauty?

Ashley and Joker were sitting on one of the benches located near the dais that led to the platform above and were chatting idly as they waited for them.

"They'd make a nice pair."

"Of course they would, Li. If they did not kill each other first." Kyla smiled, unable to hide her amusement. The scientist was right though, and maybe Joker's influence would be an improvement for the gunnery chief's fiery temper. More probably, those two combined would make a deadly mix and give her constant headaches.

As they approached them, Ashley rose to confront her. Her subordinate squared her shoulders and crossed her arms beneath her breasts. Her dark, brown eyes hardened until Shepard thought that they could have bored holes through stone. _"Or through my skull,"_ the Spectre mused, watching her wearily. She could sense a storm coming.

"Where have you been?" the gunnery chief hissed, trying to pitch her voice low so that the occasional passer-by could not overhear their conversation, "you are late."

"I'm sorry"

Her apologies clearly didn't soften Ashley one bit. She only appeared angrier as she opened her mouth to continue her tirade. Before she could utter one word, Joker cleared his throat, interrupting her verbal assault.

"I think she's just trying to say that we were worried. After the last meeting you just vanished and we didn't know..." his voice died, and he lowered his eyes.

"You didn't know if I would turn up," she completed for him letting herself fall on the bench with a sigh.

"I was tempted," she admitted, rubbing her injured arm. It was true. In the days of her convalescence, she had spent most of her time thinking about the decision she was going to take. She had reached the conclusion that it was not the desire to leave something behind that drove her, nor the will to rise through the Alliance's ranks, but the knowledge that she'd been born and bred a soldier and would die as one.

Shepard was no coward.

She met their startled gazes with her own and, seeing their shocked expressions, she laughed heartily.

"All of you should have known better," she smirked and reached out her hand to pat her pilot's knee, reassuringly.

Joker appeared relieved and the mischievous gleam that she knew so well, reappeared in his eyes.

"That does not justify your delay," Ashley grumbled.

"It's pretty obvious to me," Joker's gaze went from his commander to Liara, "they've been having sex. That's why they arrived together in the first place. And both late."

Embarrassment coloured Kyla's cheeks.

"Even though that's what you would have done if you'd shared the bed with an Asari, it does not mean that _I_ did," she spluttered indignantly.

"Ah-ha. You've just admitted it," he countered in tones of triumph.

An amused smirk played on Liara's lips.

"I think he's jealous," she said, leaning towards Ashley to whisper into her ear.

"Yeah," the gunnery chief's smile mirrored the Asari's, "he's been single so long that he's turned into a sour spinster."

"Hey, I can hear you!" The Normandy's pilot protested, raising his voice, "and you're totally wrong. I have to keep away my adoring masses of girls with a stick or they'd be smothering me."

Ashley smirked viciously. "Yeah, there's an endless line of them just outside your door and it grows longer any minute."

"Very funny," he grimaced, pressing a hand to his chest, "ow. You've broken my heart with your insensible comments. Wanna help me to gather the pieces?"

"No thanks. But I could lend you a broom if you like."

The Spectre and her group were caught in a fit of giggles. Luckily no one was there to see them.

"Where's your cap, by the way?" she asked Joker after she'd regained her composure, "I thought it was glued to your head."

"Eh," the pilot racked a hand through his short hair with a self-conscious smile, "Ashley told me that I had to make myself presentable for the meeting."

"You should have shaved, then."

Joker shook his head, "never. Not even for the Council." Curiosity lit his eyes, "tell me something about them. Ash says they're a bunch of ass-holes."

Shepard was about to answer, but she froze suddenly. Her green, petrified gaze swept past him , focusing on something, or someone, behind his back.

Joker huffed loudly.

"That's an old joke, Commander. You can't expect me to be tricked that easily." He went on, ignoring Ashley's frantic attempts to gain his attention, "I guess there's no word mean enough to describe them, uh?"

"I'd turn if I were you Trickster," Ashley's voice seemed very quiet and very small.

He did, coming face to face with an unknown Asari, dressed in the C-sec's blue and black uniform.

Her eyes were as piercing as an hawk's and gleamed dangerously, catching the light.

"Oh. Hmm, hi."

"The Council will receive you. Now."


	6. Chapter 5: Poisoned Needles

_Author's notes: About Saren: the guy seems to pop up whenever I write. I think that in-game his background was not as explored as it should have been. On the other hand it's a positive thing since I can fill the gaps with my imagination. More on next chapter._

_About the Asari counsellor: I assumed she is a Matron, since to me she appears far more younger than Benezia._

* * *

Chapter five- Poisoned needles

The small group followed Neara- that was the name the Asari had given- along a dimly lit corridor Liara had never seen before. The shabbiness of that section was in sharp contrast to the grandeur of the main halls. The Asari commando glanced continuously over her shoulder, weariness and curiosity alternating in her eyes. The scientist had the feeling that they were being weighted and measured and she wondered which conclusions their escort would reach.

"_Probably a negative one, thanks to Joker."_

She had never liked to be around soldiers in general, at least until her embarking on the Normandy, and, even after she overcame the diffidence, an unsettling sensation of inadequacy still took hold of her whenever she saw an Asari commando. Her choice of an academic career had been a great disappointment to Benezia. Her mother had encouraged her to serve at least some years in the military since she saw it as a way to overcome the omnipresent shyness that set her daughter apart from the grand scheme of the universe. Liara remembered the heated arguments that followed her refusal: as a renowned leader, Benezia expected others to obey her without question and she did not take her daughter's rebellion well. That first disobedience was followed by others, until their ways truly parted: mother and daughter became strangers and even blood ties could not keep them together.

The sudden arrival at their destination cut her reasoning short: Neara opened a door on their right and stepped aside, urging them inside with sharp gestures.

As they entered, she noticed that only the Asari counsellor was present.

"Hey," she heard Joker whisper behind her, "the commander said there were four of them. I do not mind Udina's absence, but..."

"Shut up, Joker," the gunnery chief's reply was a low growl, "you've already caused enough trouble."

The pilot shrugged as he positioned himself at Kyla's left side, "at least I get to see the hot one."

Liara took her place at the spectre's right, suppressing her amusement. Joker had the impressive talent to say the funniest things at the worst possible moment.

If the counsellor heard Joker's comment, she gave no notice and her face remained unruffled as she surveyed the group gathered at her presence. The young scientist felt an excited thrill running down her spine when those eyes met hers: it was not the first time she saw a member of the Council, but she had never been so close. Last time she'd been in the Council's presence, it had been during the ceremony for those who had given their lives to protect the Citadel and she'd stood with Shepard and her crew among thousands of others.

The Matron's rigid demeanour reminded her of Benezia and she stared back defiantly, trying not to give away her thoughts, since she knew that very little escaped the attention of the individuals that possessed a flexible mind like her mother's.

"Sit, please. Sit," the counsellor invited graciously.

They complied, except for Ashley that positioned herself behind Shepard's chair: the gunnery chief's body was trembling with tension and her right hand twitched as if she wished for the weapons she wasn't carrying. Ash looked like a rabid animal, ready to attack at her mistress command and Neara, who had followed them after she'd closed the door, mirrored the human stance behind the Counsellor's seat.

"_I hope they do not come to blows." _

At that thought, a slight frown creased Liara's forehead: she could almost feel the heat generated by the clash of their wills.

"Commander Shepard," Liara's attention snapped back to the older Asari as she talked, "I assume that your presence here means you've accepted my offer."

A thin, mirthless smile appeared on the Spectre's lips.

"You did not give me much of a choice, Counsellor. But yes, if it helps you to have a clear conscience, I accept."

"You're a Spectre. Hence you shall obey they Council and assist wherever they deem necessary," Neara's voice was hard and winter-cold as she spoke those words.

Kyla's smile deepened, but Liara could see that she was angry. Her green eyes had darkened and were now the same colour of trees on a stormy day: grim shadows danced behind her irises, like monsters lurking in the night. Liara shivered inwardly. It was the same gaze she saw whenever they were in the midst of a battle.

"And I though that Asari commandos were taught to speak only when spoken to," Kyla spat sarcastically. Liara's eyes widened in shock: she had seen her furious before, but never so _mean_.

"_And here I was, worrying over Ashley!"_

The Counsellor's guard took a step forward, her face distorted by outrage.

"Enough," the Matron put a restraining hand on her subordinate arm and then turned her serene gaze towards Shepard.

"Neara is young and rash. I'm sure that no offence was meant."

"_A boulder," _Liara mused, _"she's like a boulder and nothing can upturn her."_

Kyla lowered her eyes, suddenly embarrassed, "I...I apologize too. I don't know..." She put a hand on her forehead.

The Counsellor smiled gently, "do not worry, commander. Misunderstandings are not as uncommon as you might think."

Maybe so, but Liara was not convinced. Those sudden changes of mood were not part of Kyla's nature, and she wondered what had brought them on. She furrowed her brows racking her brain for an answer, then realisation dawned on her: Kyla's _empathy_ . She and Kyla had discussed the problem until exhaustion, without reaching a satisfactory conclusion. She knew that Kyla had never investigated her capabilities and she could not bring herself to blame her lover for it. They came with sad memories that the human was not willing to face, and her specie's natural diffidence toward those things only aggravated the Spectre's difficulties.

But if emotions- in this case the flaring animosity between Ashley and Neara- could affect her so, they should find a way to prevent it. The _confiner_ had functioned like an artificial barrier, but now it was time for Kyla to erect a wall of her own.

"_But this is not a problem we can solve now," _the scientist sighed and focused again on the conversation.

"Of course you will need a ship," the Asari Counsellor was saying.

"I already have one," Kyla countered, then stopped when she saw the politician slowly shaking her head.

"I'm afraid not, commander. We suggested that the Normandy was to be employed in this mission, but Udina objected. He would like to set your head on a pike if he could. Alongside Anderson's." Regret tinged her voice as well as a slithering anger.

"Not literally, I hope." Kyla fought back a smile. She seemed more at ease now, Liara noticed with relief. If Udina's political machinations upset her, she kept it well hidden.

Joker, on the other hand, was muttering intelligible things under his breath and Liara was sure that none of them were compliments.

"Would you like to add something to the conversation, Lieutenant?" Amusement flashed through the Matron's eyes.

He looked up, and embarrassment at being caught coloured his cheeks.

"I...well, I think that Anderson should have hit him harder." Mischief glittered in his eyes as usual, but Liara was sure that he meant every word.

"Joker!" Ashley hissed in warning.

The Counsellor made a soothing gesture. "That man could exasperate a stone and sometimes I feel the need to punch him myself," she admitted, then shrugged apologetically, as if the thought of using violence made her feel ashamed. "At the same time I think that this inconvenience may prove itself useful."

Kyla's eyes widened with consternation.

"I do not see your point. Without a ship I can't hunt down the Sovereign."

"Oh, we have already solved the problem," the Asari assured, "besides the Normandy is well known among enemies as well as allies, and a new ship would go unnoticed where the Normandy's presence would cause comment if not open interference."

A thoughtful light had appeared in the commander's eyes and she nodded slowly.

"Yes, I think I understand. Seeing the Normandy, people would immediately suppose that I am on board."

Even if she did not posses a tactical disposition, Liara understood as well. A new ship, not associated with Shepard's widely known reputation, would give them the freedom of movement they needed to carry out their task.

Joker raised his hand tentatively, "I have a question."

"Of course Lieutenant," the Matron conceded, "although you've not felt the need to ask permission before."

Joker blushed again.

"_She truly has a remarkable spirit, to make our shameless helmsman blush so easily." _Liara mused, her shoulders shaking slightly with silent laughter.

"Which kind of ship will I pilot?" he asked, stammering over the words, "I am the Alliance's best pilot, ya know," he added, trying to regain his balance.

"Another frigate. We cannot give you a bigger one. As you know a move like that would bring a war down on us if you ever went into the Terminus system's space." She looked suddenly tired, "there is just a little... condition."

Kyla crossed her arms beneath her breasts, and an annoyed scowl shadowed her face.

"I should have known," she muttered, "none of the Council's supposed gifts comes without a poisoned needle in it."

"Do not be so harsh, commander. You see, the problem is that this frigate does not belong to the Council, but to the Asari Republics. She's a prototype, as the Normandy was, and she features an enhanced version of the Tantalus engine."

"Wait," Ashley piped in, "I thought that it was a Human-Turian project. A secret one."

"You expressed yourself well, chief. It _was. _After the Reaper's attack we decided that it would be best to develop new ship featuring that technology. Only the species that are part of the Council are involved, though." A thin, dangerous smilegraced the Matron's lips.

"_Political bargains." _The though made Liara sick.

"I see," the Spectre replied slowly, "where's the needle?"

"There is one who will be able to explain it better than I," the Counsellor gestured towards the room's entrance.

They turned, as the door opened, revealing another Asari, who- Liara suspected- had listened to the whole conversation. This one was old, maybe older than Benezia, but she moved lithely, masking her age. The perfect beauty of her face was barely touched by time's fingers and she had the palest eyes Liara had ever seen, so pale they resembled the frosty colour of ice.

"My name is Malena," she said, inclining her head in greeting. She entered the room and began to circle the table, to occupy an empty seat near the Counsellor. She stopped, suddenly, as her gaze fell on Liara.

"Benezia's child," she murmured, cupping the scientist's chin in a gentle hand, "how lovely."

Liara's cheeks burned with embarrassment, and she remained silent, unable to think of a decent reply.

Malena reached her seat, apparently oblivious to the emotional commotion she'd caused.

"I will be your second in command," she announced, locking her eyes to Shepard's who had opened her mouth to protest, "and before you object, I'm not negotiable."

"Fine," Kyla threw up her hands, exasperated, "do you have any other surprise in store for me?" she asked, her voice dangerously sweet.

Malena shrugged as if any other term was of minor importance.

"A large part of your crew will be Asari of course."

"Of course. But if I have to work with strangers, I wish to have my say on the choosing. And so that we're clear, ma'am: _I_ give the orders." The Spectre's grin was wolfish.

"This is obvious, commander," Malena said reassuringly, "I'm here to assist, not to hinder."

"I hope so." Kyla looked doubtful.

The Counsellor rose, satisfaction clear on her face.

"We're done then," she extended her hand, so that Shepard could shake it, "we've also contacted the team-members you've recruited during the previous mission."

At that news, Liara felt happiness wash away her worries. It would be good to see Garrus, Wrex and Tali again.

"They're already waiting for you on the transport that will bring you to your destination," the Counsellor added.

"Destination?" the commander's eyebrows rose in confusion, "you mean that this frigate of yours is not here?"

"I fear not. We had some problems with the engine," again Malena shrugged, unconcerned, "nothing to worry about."

"Why haven't you told me earlier?" Kyla's jaw tightened.

"You would have refused, if you'd known."

Liara almost laughed at the insolence of that statement, but the Matriarch was right. Kyla inhaled sharply, holding back the sarcastic remarks she appeared so eager to unleash.

"We have to prepare, then," the human walked toward the door, " we'll see you later, I guess," she said to the Matriarch.

Without waiting for a reply, she walked away, and the others followed her.

"_Retreating in good order," _Liara thought wryly. The stiff way Shepard held herself, told the scientist how upset she was. The mission had not yet started, but already they found themselves with their hands full.

* * *

"I do not understand how the bureaucrats can pretend that everything is all right," Ashley mumbled as they walked towards the Tower's main hall, "it seems to me that they act as if nothing has changed."

"Because they're in _denial_ right now. They wish to believe that nothing really happened, and maybe, if they wish strong enough, the world will bend their way. Typical human behaviour," Kyla lightly scratched the scar on her face, "the Sovereign however will not vanish that easily."

"That's why we're here, uh?"

"Yeah chief, I guess the galaxy needs someone to chase away its nightmares."

Ashley's shoulders sagged a little and her eyes became distant and filled with longing.

"I only wish I had the time to see my sisters. I miss them, you know?"

Kyla nodded in understanding. Even if she was only daughter, she knew how the chief felt. So much time had passed since she had last seen her mother and father that, at times, she feared she would forget their faces. Given the work they had chosen though, it was a normal situation. As Ashley had once said, it was a wonder that children still were born among soldiers.

"I would like to have a chance to say goodbye," her companion continued, "just in case we..." She trailed off, unable to voice the horrible possibility.

Kyla remained silent. There was nothing she could say to reassure her, since the same fear trapped her heart, like a shrine of ice. The only thought that she could die or see the death of her team, chilled her soul. But hiding would do no good, save maybe buying them a year or less of life, until the Sovereign returned.

"Commander Shepard?"

The Matriarch's voice halted them in their tracks and Kyla turned slowly. The shadows that lingered in the corridor shrouded the Asari's face, making it impossible for the Spectre to read her expression, but the woman's voice held a touch of hesitation that had not been there before.

"Yes ma'am?"

"I'd like to have a word with you..._alone_," again that hesitation, belied by an eagerness that made the Asari's eyes shine in the darkness. Ashley laid a warning hand on her commander's arm. A brief touch, that a stranger would have thought casual, but Kyla felt a rush of anxiety fill her. It was clear that Ashley didn't trust the Matriarch. And in truth she too was not sure she could trust her. Maybe it was a feeling caused by her previous experience: Kyla's encounter with Benezia had brought only pain and sorrow, to herself and the one she loved most.

"I'll be careful," she lightly squeezed her officer's hand, keeping her eyes locked to the Asari's and her voice low, so that only Ash could hear her words.

The gunnery chief inclined her head in acknowledgement.

"See that you do or I swear I'll make your life miserable," she murmured back, removing her hand, "we'll wait you in the hangar."

She turned towards the main hall and briskly herded Joker and Liara ahead. Those two were still engaged in technical conversation -well her pilot was at least. The glance that Liara shot her when they passed by, was a silent plea for help.

"_Sorry Li," _the Spectre thought in silent apology,_ "but you'll have to __bear__ him a while longer."_ She kept her eyes locked to their backs until they vanished from her sight.

The Matriarch cleared her throat, reminding Kyla of her present and she turned, following her to an empty room.

"What do you wish to discuss?"

The Asari's shoulders sagged, and she leaned against the wall, as though she was feeling all the weight of her centuries.

"This will not be easy, commander, nor pleasant," she took a deep breath, steadying herself, "I want to know about Saren's death."

Kyla sagged on a nearby chair, taken aback by the request. As soon as she lifted her gaze to meet Malena's, she knew that the Asari would not leave her alone unless she was satisfied.

"_I hope to have the right answer then," _she thought grimly. It would not be pleasant to have another Matriarch- also her second- angry with her.


	7. Chapter 6: Revelations

Author's notes: To Rahvin Dashiva, my beta reader: I really appreciate your help.

Chapter six- Revelations

"I want to know about Saren's death."

Malena's words rang in Kyla's ears. What could she say to satisfy the Asari's curiosity? Months had passed since she had fought the final battle against the Turian, but even now, it was hard for her to process what had really happened. Her memories were jumbled together, and somewhat blurry, as if years had passed instead of months. She had shared them with Liara, through the melding, and the scientist mantained that there was a part of her mind, which was not ready to face the truth. Every time she tried to remember, her thoughts seemed to slip between her fingers like grains of sand.

"I'm sorry madam," she replied at last, "but if you read my report, you already know what happened. There is nothing more to add."

Dismay was clearly visible on the Matriarch's face, and sadness clouded her eyes.

Silence enveloped their bodies like an invisible shroud, weighting down their thoughts, and Kyla dropped her eyes, unable to stand the pain she saw on her interrogator's features.

"Commander," when Malena spoke again, her voice trembled slightly with fervour "I probably do not have the right to ask this of you but..." she stopped, as though she did not know how to voice her request. "Would you join your mind with mine?"

Again the Matriarch's words took her by surprise. A jolt of fear went through her at the thought that Malena would force the melding on her whatever she said, and her eyes shut involuntarily.

Malena had to have noticed her reaction. "No Asari would ever do that," she said, sounding scandalised, "it would be like rape."

Kyla did not open her eyes. She did not share Ashley's prejudice toward aliens, but neither was she ready to trust Malena so easily. On the other hand, she could see that the Matriarch's discomfort was genuine and that she wasn't driven by some sort of morbid curiosity.

Shepard rose and began to pace back and forth immersed in deep thought. The room wasn't larger than a cubbyhole and four paces each way was all she had, but she made vigorous use of the space. Her mind was in a turmoil, but she tried, and failed, to maintain a façade of indifference. The quickness of her step conveyed all her anxiety.

"Commander?"

Kyla turned, and positioned herself in front of the Asari, "I'll do it," she said. The firmness in her voice surprised her. "But don't make me regret it."

"You have my gratitude, commander," Malena cupped her face between gentle hands, and their eyes linked, then she spoke again, suddenly hesitant.

"Are you sure about this, commander? The sharing of memories is most personal."

A tight smile, almost a grimace, played on the Spectre's lips.

"I have nothing to hide."

Kyla made herself meet Malena's look with one just as level and firm. It was not easy.

"Neither do I," Malena's reply was barely audible.

The Matriarch's pupils dilated until her eyes turned a solid black, and Kyla felt a familiar sensation of splitting as her mind was sucked into that whirlpool of darkness.

A part of her, the only part that was still capable of independent thoughts, realised that something was different. She tried to oppose it, but it was too late for second thoughts.

"Relax Kyla," the Matriarch's voice, benevolent and distant, soothed her, "embrace eternity."

Their memories collided, like waves upon a shore, and they became a single living being.

The world vanished.

* * *

"_Is he dead?" Ashley eyed Saren's body with unease, as she nervously toyed with her gun. _

"_I think so," Shepard's gaze left the Turian's corpse, which was sprawled at their feet, to scan their wrecked surroundings. She did not trust the apparent calm that had fallen on the battlefield: the Sovereign still hovered above their heads, like a brooding mass of darkness, and, as far as the Spectre could see, it was undamaged._

_Far away, gunfire and shouts echoed through the deserted halls. _

"_What should we do now?" Liara's eyes were muddled with tiredness and disgust, the same feelings that ruled Kyla's spirit. The Asari was no warrior, Kyla knew it, and she loathed the decisions that war forced them to make. The Spectre shared those feelings, but her hands were so covered in blood that she doubted they would ever come clean. That, of course, did not mean she was an uncaring, bloodthirsty killer. _

"_I only did what was necessary," she murmured to herself, as her eyes were again drawn to Saren's body, like a moth to a flame._

_She pitied him, although she knew that he was responsible for countless deaths. To sate his thirst for power, he had killed, tortured and blackmailed, and Kyla was certain that he'd taken a sickening pleasure in enforcing the Reaper's will._

_She could not even begin to conceive the despair he must have felt when he'd realised that, to the Sovereign, he was nothing more than a puppet._

_A grating sound, of metal against metal, brought her out of her reverie._

"_What the hell...?" Ashley took a step back, and lifted her gun, pointing it towards Saren. The Turian's body twitched slightly, as if electricity was suddenly flowing through his veins, then the renegade Spectre laboriously pushed himself up on hands and knees and rose on his feet._

_His movements were wooden, as if invisible strings were tied to his limbs and guided him in a disgusting parody of life._

_The armour, that should have been his protection, was dented and its chest plate was damaged and contorted so badly, that the flesh beneath was visible._

_Dark, bluish blood oozed from the gaping wound as he moved, but he made no sound: already dead, he was insensible to the pain that would have driven insane any other living being._

_No spark of life graced his blue eyes, at least the one remaining. His right eye socket was filled by jelly-looking pus and half of his face was gone: his facial bones, twisted and shattered, gleamed wetly in the midst of that bloodied ruin. _

"_Sheepaard"_

_The... thing swayed as it took a step forward, and stretched its arms out, like a zombie in one of those old horror holofilms Joker had forced the whole crew to watch. The trio kept well away from its taloned hands: those razor-like claws could be lethal, as a jagged gash on Kyla's side painfully proved. The thing tried to speak again, but its mandibles were partially unhinged and hung grotesquely from a single tendon. _

___Kyla snapped her assault rifle up to her shoulder, her finger tightening on the trigger. The burst hit the remains of the Turian square in the chest, but it refused to go down._ Liara and Ashley mirrored her actions, and the thing was pushed back until it collapsed in a messy heap of flesh.

_A subsonic scream of rage filled the air, piercing their ears, annihilating their thoughts. It grew in intensity and the Citadel's structures hummed with it, amplifying its power. In the hour of her defeat, the Reaper screamed her fury and the mechanical hatred she felt towards all the obscene creatures of flesh and blood. ____C-sec fighters buzzed around like angry insects, and the Reaper ascended from her perch, swatting at them with the ____crack-thump____ of her mass accelerators._

"_The Sovereign's trying to escape!" _

_Kyla was forced to shout so that her companions could hear her over the deafening noise, "we must stop her! We must..."_

* * *

Memories blended and flowed, like a river, sweeping them along. Every aspect of their lives was dissected and analysed.

Centuries passed in the blink of an eye.

The world changed.

* * *

_Malena's desk was littered with OSD's and unfinished reports. She should have been working, but her mind was restless and she found it difficult to concentrate for long, even on the simplest thing._

_Every now and then, she lifted her eyes from the bureaucratic avalanche that was attempting to bury her, and looked at the door, hope blooming on her face. He would come back. He would. _

_Hours passed, the artificial sun rose and set. _

_At last, she left her seat with a deep sigh and turned to face the window, so that her gaze could roam over the sleeping Citadel. The holographic sky reflected her mood, for dark clouds shadowed the distant gleaming of the stars._

"_I've been blind," she murmured to herself, shaking her head as those bitter words left her mouth._

_She would never see Saren again: she should have known that morning, when she'd awakened, to find that the bed they'd shared was empty and already cold. To think that the strings of affection she'd tied to him would have been strong enough to keep him by her side, had been naïve. Even an Asari child would have known that her plan was doomed to failure._

_Never before had the apartment she lived in during her short stays on the Citadel seemed so empty. Her body quivered with sudden anger and she clasped her hands behind her back to keep them from shaking. _

_Saren, with his determined, unflappable nature had clouded her judgement and used her to reach his goal. Malena was a respected battle leader, well known among Asari and other species, but she resolved to brutal force only when diplomacy failed and that quality was greatly appreciated by the Council's members. She had backed him up, blinded by the passion that ravaged her spirit, even when she knew he was wrong. And through her status, he had gained credit. The Council had assigned him the missions he wanted and named him as the highest- ranking defender of the galaxy. Saren was the perfect Spectre, an example that other agents should follow. _

_He had probably left the Citadel already, and, for a glorious moment, she dwelt on the sweet though that he had fled because he feared her wrath. _

_Again she laughed, but her hilarity didn't last long, and when the laughter died, she found herself on the verge of tears._

"_I'm supposed to be a leader," she whispered hoarsely, "I AM a Matriarch!"_

_Exhausted, she entered her bedroom and laid her aching body on her bed. Maybe a few hours sleep would help her clear her thoughts. As soon as she closed her eyes, she felt tears well behind her eyelids. Malena curled herself into a tight ball as that salty liquid slid down her cheeks and soaked her pillow. _

_In her whole life she had never felt the desire to give birth to a daughter, but, for a time, she had thought that Saren could have been her soul mate. A good father._

* * *

With a loud gasp, Shepard emerged from the link. The room swayed around her and only Malena's gentle hold on her arm, kept her from collapsing on the floor. This melding had been different from those she had experienced with Liara: the images sharper, the emotions clearer. The confiner's removal was actually causing more trouble than she had considered possible. The implant had worked as a bastion that kept others' feelings at bay and without it she felt exposed, as if anyone could manipulate what was inside her. She was vulnerable, and the very thought chilled her to her marrow.

"Are you all right, commander?" The sound of Malena's voice made her jump.

"I...yes, I'm fine."

The Matriarch's brow creased and worry did not leave her eyes.

"Are you sure? Your face is somewhat... _grey._"

Kyla shrugged, then leaned against the wall. The solid metal against which she pressed her back, felt reassuringly cold.

"I'm just somewhat overwhelmed."

As she uttered those words, she felt her cheeks burning to the point that she began to fear her face was afire. Images of Saren and Malena making love packed her mind: it was as if the bliss that the Matriarch had experienced was engraved on her soul.

_God, I feel like a voyeur, _she mused, trying to conceal her disgust. She involuntary imagined herself having sex with Garrus, and winced inwardly.She liked the Turian, he was a good friend, but the thought of getting involved with him had never occurred to her. She did not consider herself a racist for that; she just wasn't into Turians and never would be.

"You seem surprised, disgusted perhaps," Malena watched her intently, her eyes piercing and icy.

Kyla squirmed nervously under that stony gaze.

"Do not get me wrong, ma'am. I'm just surprised that you could love someone so, so..." she trailed off, since none of the words that came to her lips was complimentary.

"So cruel?" the Matriarch asked, as a creepy, sour smile appeared on her lips, "I asked myself the same question many times, but I've never found a satisfying answer. The heart plays strange tricks sometimes. But of one thing I am sure, we did not share the same ties that bind you to Doctor T'Soni," she sighed as she contemplated her past, "I did not love him half as much."

At that comment Kyla reddened again and Malena smiled without malice.

"I envy you, commander, for you are not alone as I am," the smile remained, but it was tinged with sadness and regret. "Believe me, I do."

After that she did not speak another word, and Kyla forced down the numerous questions that threatened to choke her.

As always when she saw someone in distress, the Spectre felt the urgent desire to help, but she knew that Malena, prideful as she was, would mistake her concern for pity, and that would drive her away for good.

The Matriarch reminded her so much of her own mother!

Silence became heavy as they lost themselves in their thoughts, and neither seemed eager to break it.

"We should be going," Kyla murmured, then shuddered when the sound of her voice, echoing in that small space, shattered the quiet.

"You are right," Malena answered, not meeting her eyes, "there is little time left."

The Spectre nodded and took the lead as they left the Council's Tower. To destroy the Sovereign, they had to drag her out of her hiding place as soon as possible.


	8. Chapter 7: Pitfalls and tripwires

Author's notes:** this chapter is dedicated to Ravhin Dashiva, Parle and to all those who are reading this story.**

Chapter seven- Pitfalls and tripwires

Anteus Berandis raised his eyes, squinting against the sun. Behind him, the Council's Tower glittered in the bright light as a silver needle spearing upwards. It shone in such a blinding way, that it was nearly impossible to look at it directly for too long.

The Turian shifted his stance irritably. His muscles ached and he felt as if he was wearing a much heavier version of his Agent armour. Anteus was bored; this guard duty he had been assigned to, was revealing itself as uneventful as ever. Even paperwork would have been more exciting than this.

Few people, aside from those that actually worked inside it, approached the Tower and the cluster of C-sec's agent's that guarded its entrance. Many looked in his direction though, and their gazes shifted uneasily from the building to the armed guards. The memory of the Geth's attack on the station was still fresh on everyone's mind, and as painful as an open wound. The merciless sinthetics made no distinction between soldiers and civilians, and killed both with equal ferocity. Anteus himself had lost several friends to those monstrosities and in him, as in every other Turian, the pain ran deeper, tinged with shame, since it had been a member of his species who brought disaster on them. With his rash actions, Saren had dishonoured the whole Turian race, and centuries would pass before his folly was forgiven, if not forgotten.

As the doors of the elevator that led to the chambers above swished open he turned, gladly pushing those dark thoughts to the back of his mind. The first human Spectre emerged from the building. He'd expected her to return earlier, since her comrades had left the Council's Halls more than an hour before. It was her companion that drew his attention though: Malena was well known among C-Sec's officers since more than once she had cooperated with Security.

_What are they up to? _His eyes narrowed inquisitively as he approached them to return the weapons that they'd surrendered earlier. Had the circumstances been favourable, he would have carefully tried to pry into their intentions, but the tension he sensed between them made him change his mind. He knuckled his forehead respectfully as they passed him by without a second glance and hastily got out of their way.

Anteus was sure that those two were going to cause much trouble, whatever their intentions.

Maybe he could learn more from his informers, and then sell the information to the highest bidder. Earning some extra money would not hurt and he wasn't really doing something wrong. Was he?

_Well_, he mused, silencing the tiny voice that was listing the possible punishments he would earn himself if his superior officers caught him, _if they wanted to keep their meeting secret, they should have never come out through the front door. _

It was going to be a lucrative day after all.

* * *

By the time they left the Tower the sun had risen well above the horizon, and Shepard was forced to stop for a moment as her eyes adjusted to the blinding light.

Her vision cleared as she reached for the pistol that the Turian agent was handing over. He tried to say something, but Kyla ignored him, so engrossed in her thoughts that she was barely concious of his presence.

She headed towards her room to gather her belongings, and the Matriarch stalked her like her own shadow.

Kyla's eyes restlessly scanned their surroundings and her trained mind instinctively registered every detail as she searched for possible dangers.

"Commander," Malena brushed her arm, a light, feather-like touch, but she flinched as if the Asari had punched her instead.

"What's wrong?" the Matriarch continued. She was totally unfazed by Shepard's reaction as though she exactly knew how the other felt.

The Spectre made a gesture of despair. "The atmosphere. It is... unsettling." She tightly wrapped her arms around herself in a defensive way.

To a newcomer, the Citadel would have been a wondrous sight, a bottomless well of surprises, but she knew better. The structure had been brought back to its original grandeur, but the changes were there and clearly visible to her attentive gaze. Each one was a painful reminder of the sword of Damocles that might descend on them at any time.

An underlying tension hung in the air as persistent as a sulphurous stench. Despite the threat of war, people went about their business as usual, but she had noticed the uneasy, sneaky glances that they cast to the omnipresent guards. C-Sec's agents themselves reminded everyone that the Citadel no longer was the safe harbour it used to be.

It seemed to her that the station's inhabitants flocked together like fearful sheep, as if they were able to sense the impeding catastrophe and did not want to face it alone.

The fact that people goggled at her wherever she went did nothing to lighten her mood. She felt trapped.

At first she had not minded the attention; during her battle against the Reapers she had been the Press' favourite target, and being treated as a war hero had been a refreshing change. But now that she could not even take a walk without causing comment, she bitterly missed the times when no one outside the Alliance knew who she was.

"The sooner we get away from here, the better," she murmured absent-mindedly, raising her troubled eyes to the sky. As she watched it, longing filled her. No star was visible, but she knew that they were there, only briefly obliterated by the golden light of the sun.

As far as she could remember, she'd always felt an irresistible attraction for the night sky, knowing that the shiny pinpoints that adorned it like diamonds hid adventures far beyond her imagination. Kyla's life had been a long journey, unpleasant and dangerous at times, but even though she had lost count of the number of times she'd travelled through mass relays to reach her destination, she still felt a childlike enthusiasm whenever a new trip loomed on the horizon.

Her spirit was tormented by an unbearable ache and she had the impression that it was trying to detach itself from her flesh, to reach towards those distant lights.

She lowered her gaze, shaking herself out of that open-eyed dream, to find that Malena's pale eyes were watching her intently. A small, secretive smile graced the Matriarch's lips and it appeared that the pain she'd suffered earlier was gone.

"I share your feelings commander," her voice was cold and devoid of emotion, but as she followed Kyla's gaze, her eyes warmed, and the shreds of ice contained into her irises melted away a little.

"What lies behind the horizon, has always enticed me more than the philosophical studies my mother favoured," she added fondly, "that's why I chose to enlist in the military and become a commando."

"Was your mother disappointed?" the question bubbled up to Kyla's lips before she could stop it and, as those words left her mouth, the image of a beautiful, motherly Asari flashed through her mind. Her curiosity had gotten the better of her, vanishing all the efforts she'd put into keeping it on a short leash.

_Just don't mention Saren, _a small voice inside her chided sternly, _it would not be proper._

"No," the Matriarch answered, completely oblivious to the interior battle the Spectre was fighting, and losing, "she maintained that a good soldier would be better and more useful than a lousy philosopher."

"It was the same with my parents," Kyla replied, as the veil of memory descended on her emerald eyes, "of course they were overjoyed when I told them I wanted to join the Alliance: I was following their steps after all. But they would have backed me up whatever I did."

Malena nodded her understanding; she looked like she had regained her serenity, as though talking about their common background had vanquished the last remnants of the sorrow that tortured her.

Shepard had to admit that she enjoyed Malena's company, and that the Matriarch fascinated her. When she told her so, Malena looked at her in surprise, but her eyes glittered with suppressed mirth.

"Do I now, Shepard?"

As she realized how her statement had sounded, Kyla's cheeks coloured in embarrassment.

"I mean... I didn't..." she trailed off, unable to find a sensible explanation.

"Don't worry commander," the Matriarch's smug smile broadened, "I won't tell Doctor T'Soni, I promise." Seeing the Spectre's shocked expression, she burst out laughing.

"And why is that so?" she asked, as she tried to suppress another fit of giggles.

"Because you are now what Liara has the potential to become," Kyla was smiling too, but her voice held more than a touch of sadness, "although I won't be there to see it happen." She had discussed the problem with Liara only once, and at that time they were not engaged. Her species' short lifespan had never seemed such a big issue before. More probably she had not wanted to acknowledge it as one.

She lifted her eyes again, and it seemed that the holographic sky was trying to mirror her mood for the sun was hidden by smoky, menacing clouds and the light had dimmed, plunging the Presidium into an eerie twilight.

"You should not dwell on what is yet to come," Malena observed kindly, "and remember that everything that makes you the woman you are, is now part of her as well. Death could never change that."

Shepard heaved a deep sigh and pushed away those unpleasant thoughts: Malena was right, and it would be best if she focused on those problems she could actually solve.

They had reached the building that housed her room, and Malena followed the Spectre to her door.

"Do you want to come in?" Kyla offered.

"Gladly," the Asari replied in a level voice that could not conceal her curiosity, "I'd like to see where the first human Spectre lives."

"Oh it's nothing special, really," Kyla countered as they went inside. To describe her quarters as shabby would have been a compliment. Her room was nothing more than a large metal box, and more than once she'd gotten the impression of living inside a cupboard. Udina himself had assigned the room to her, and she wondered if he'd done so to take his revenge.

"I expected something more... "

"Spacious? More comfortable?" Kyla asked as she retrieved her backpack. Her weapons, along with her newly acquired Ursa armour, had been left in the care of a C-Sec's officer.

"Well, if I have to be honest I did."

"Too bad that Udina does not share your beliefs then," Shepard gave her a wry grin, "it appears that I've angered the wrong people," she shrugged, "as we say on Earth: no good deed goes unpunished."

She did not really mind that arrangement, since she spent most of her nights at Liara's, but on the other hand Udina's petty squabbles did nothing to improve the human species' position in the eyes of the other Council's members.

Malena resumed her study of the room, her hands clasped behind her back.

"And what about that?" she asked, pointing an inquiring finger towards a pile of armour parts that was haphazardly scattered near the bed.

"My old armour," Shepard explained as the Matriarch picked up the chest plate to examine it. The red and black paint of the Onyx armour was peeling off, and the metal was dented and marred by deep gashes. Here and there blood, dark and nearly indelible, stained the metal. Kyla had not wanted to throw her gear away, it had saved her life more than once, but when she'd shown it to Ashley, the gunnery chief had sentenced it was beyond repair and the only thing her commander could do was buy another.

"Saren did that?" Malena asked in hushed tones, running her delicate fingers along the jagged tear on its side.

"Yes," the Spectre shuddered at the memory and involuntarily pressed a hand to her side.

Malena tossed the thing away and it clattered on the floor with a loud _thump_.

"I'm glad you killed him," she murmured fervently, "I know I shouldn't take such pleasure in his death, but still..." Her frosty eyes hardened, "he deserved it."

Shepard did not fully agree, but, having shared her memories, she understood Malena's animosity.

"I'm ready," she announced, lifting her bag. She surveyed the room one last time to see if she had forgotten anything. No, there was no sign she had ever been there. Not a wrinkle on the folded blankets at the foot of the bed, nor a forgotten document on her desk. The only thing out of place was the broken armour. It would remain there, gathering dust until someone new took possession of the room.

_I must have known I would not be staying, _she realised, _I don't seem to leave any mark behind me, of late._

She moved towards the door, but when she tried to open it, nothing happened.

"What the hell?" she exclaimed, her face a mask of confusion, "the control panel worked properly just a minute ago!"

A lump of ice formed in her throat and she shivered, feeling suddenly cold.

"Something is not right," she whispered hoarsely. "Something..."

* * *

Lieutenant Moreau had never seen the C-Sec so crowded before. A few lucky agents that apparently had nothing to do, were chatting idly among themselves, while those who had tasks to accomplish, scurried back and forth as fast as they could. None of them had the time to spare a second glance for the ill-assorted group that stationed beside the hangar's elevator. Here and there he could spot the occasional civilian, but he doubted that many of them were suspects. Since Pallin had enforced a new, stricter security protocol, criminals steered well clear of the station. The few that tried to do their dirty business were immediately identified and arrested.

He rolled his eyes in exasperation as Ashley looked at her wrist watch for what seemed the hundredth time. She glared at it in such a furious way that he began to think she was trying to make the hands turn faster by sheer force of will.

"I told you we had time for a beer before she returned, but you would not listen," he observed, a lopsided grin on his face.

The gunnery chief shot him a reproachful look. "Are you not worried?" she asked, her voice reduced to a whisper so low that it was barely audible.

Neara, who to Ashley's great dismay had apparently glued herself to them, leaned closer as she tried to overhear their conversation.

"Of course I am," the pilot whispered back, "but worrying yourself to death won't solve the problem."

Ashley heaved a tired sigh, leaning against the wall. "I can't help it, it's just...what do we know about her after all?" she asked, referring to the Matriarch.

Joker shrugged uncomfortably. He shared the chief's doubts, but as he had stated there was nothing they could do. He was quietly confident that the Commander could handle any threat with ease and after all they did not know if the Asari's intentions were good or not. Judging Malena guilty without proof and on the basis of their previous experience with Benezia would be unfair.

He leaned tiredly on his crutches, shifting his weight from one foot to the other: his muscles burned as they always did when he walked too much, and he held himself upright with great effort.

"Are you all right, lieutenant?" Liara's concerned voice startled him, and he moved so rapidly that he nearly lost his precarious balance. He groaned as his fragile bones creaked in protest, and a jolt of agony shot through his nerves.

"I'm fine," he growled, grinding his teeth to keep himself from crying out. Sweat beaded on his face as he fought down the pain that racked through his body. "And by the way, it's just Joker," he added after he'd regained enough breath to speak.

He could not bring himself to grow angry with the scientist: had the question come from anyone else, he would probably have snapped his head off, but Liara never acted as if he was made of porcelain. Well, Shepard did not either. They truly cared for him.

"I like you," Benezia's daughter had told him once, "because you make her laugh."

A sudden noise caught his attention and his head snapped up, as he searched for the source of that sound. Around him every activity stopped and hundreds of eyes were lifted toward the ceiling. If the metal slabs hadn't been there, they would have been looking straight at the Presidium. The low rumble grew in intensity, until it dwarfed any other sound; Joker had the strange impression that the Citadel itself was screaming its agony. That blood- curdling roar thundered through the entire station, until the metal structures began to tremble with it. Amplified tenfold the metallic howl pierced his ears and filled his mind with visions of darkness and ruin.

_Stop, please. Stop._

As though an unseen god had heard his unspoken prayer the sound died away, but a faint echo lingered around them as if the roar had somehow etched itself in the very air.

The lights went out for a moment, then flickered back to life and cast their bluish glow on a scene of madness, shrieks and chaos.


	9. Chapter 8: Things Fall Apart

Author's notes: _I had to upload this again since the first version didn't satisfy me. I've added some description here and there, particularly in the C-sec's part (Ashley's POV) I'd really appreciate if you let me know your thoughts on this chapter since this was the most difficult to write so far. _

Chapter eight- Things fall apart

"Something is not right," Kyla whispered hoarsely, "something..."

She punched the door's controls again, so hard that her hand began to throb painfully. Nothing changed.

The lump of ice that had formed inside her throat widened until she thought she was going to freeze where she was.

"We should contact security," Malena offered.

Shepard nodded and rapidly crossed the room to reach her terminal, but when she tried to log in and access Extranet, her password flashed up on the screen for a moment, then the VDU went blank.

"Let's try the door again. Maybe it's just a momentary breakdown."

Kyla leaned against it and tried to force it open with her shoulder, but the metal slab was far too heavy and would not budge.

"Can't you try something with your biotics?" she asked, giving up her unsuccessful attempt.

Malena shook her head. "Not with the door completely closed. I'm not strong enough," she admitted, shrugging apologetically, "but if we manage to open it a bit, I could force a singularity through the crack and widen it."

Shepard rummaged around in her backpack and extracted a small penknife.

"I'll try to cause a short circuit."

Malena's eyebrows rose, "Is it wise?" She asked, voicing her doubts, "the whole circuit could burst into flames."

"It's the only way as far as I can see." Using the knife's blade as a screwdriver she began to loosen the screws that kept the circuit's protection panel into place. She cut herself in the process since, more than once, the knife's hilt slipped from her sweaty fingers and its blade plunged into her flesh.

"Kyla?" The raising tension that had entered the Matriarch's voice made her turn. Her terminal's monitor had flashed back to life and a notice advertised her that she had received a vocal message. Kyla hastily tapped on her keyboard to listen to it.

"Commander Shepard," a neutral voice, so artificially disguised that she could not recognize it, filled the small space, "you have been a worthy opponent. The Reaper's return however cannot be hindered further. For this reason a bomb will terminate you within ten minutes. You're free to defuse it of course, but you'll have to find it first. Have a nice day."

Malena stared at the screen a moment more, then turned.

"Do you know who could have left that message?" she asked slowly, a blank expression on her face.

Kyla shook her head, a disgusted grimace on her lips.

"No. But it seems the Sovereign has more allies than we thought."

Her whole body quivered with suppressed fury. She had always thought that coming face to face with the enemy was the clean way wars should be fought, if such a thing as a clean war ever existed, and she shared the marines' natural diffidence towards bombs and explosives in general for, more often than not, they caused casualties among friends as well as foes.

The possibility that someone could blow up the building and risk the lives of countless civilians just to hurt her, had the Spectre bristling with rage.

"I'm sorry madam," she murmured, as she tried to control her temper, "I did not mean to involve you into this."

"Nonsense commander even though I've always thought I would die in battle. What do you think we should do?"

Despite the fact that Death's sharp scythe threatened to snap their lives' threads, the Matriarch showed no outward sign of panic and Kyla admired her for that.

The Spectre shrugged. "We stick to the original plan," she said, resuming her work on the electronic lock.

"I trust your skills commander, but just in case you fail what's plan B?"

"We die here." Shepard replied without raising her eyes.

"Uhm... I see. What's plan C?"

* * *

The C-Sec's main hall resembled a kicked anthill. That sudden, bone-chilling noise had panicked everyone, and the rumour of another Geth attack rapidly spread throughout the crowd like wildfire.

Civilians huddled up close to each other in fear and were roughly shoved out of the way as Agents rushed to weapons' lockers. A grizzled Turian officer picked a dozen of them out and efficiently organized them into a recon team. As they headed towards the transport system to reach the Presidium, Ashley approached the officer.

"I'm Ashley Williams, gunnery chief of the Alliance," she said, saluting him, "may I come with you?"

"This is C-Sec's business. Your assistance is not needed," the Turian's bi-tonal voice was cold, and a fierce scowl shadowed his face. His green irises gleamed with a dangerous, almost feral light and he nearly reached for his pistol, as though he expected that things could turn rough. Ashley stared back defiantly, but it was not easy: he was a superior officer after all, and the Alliance's deeply ingrained discipline told her that she had to obey his orders without question.

At last he turned his back on her, but before he could move, she reached out her hand and grabbed his arm.

"Wait! I was just trying to..." The Turian shrugged her away angrily, and she took a step back, raising both hands to show him that she meant no harm. The Turian did not scare her, but Ash did not want to give him an excuse to arrest her since he already appeared eager to do so.

"Be a good civilian and stay out of the way," he growled, "we already have enough problems without you causing more." Apparently the rank she had achieved in the Alliance did not guarantee her any special status in the seasoned warrior's eyes.

"Civilian?! _Civilian?_" Ashley's voice rose to a strangled shout as the increasing anger she had tried to conceal flared up suddenly, "listen to me, you idiotic..." With a sharp gesture of his taloned hand the Turian interrupted her rant. Ignoring the chief's protests, he pointed a commanding finger towards Neara.

"Agent!" he bellowed, to dominate any other noise, "I consider you responsible for this human and her companions. If they cause further trouble take them into custody."

"Yes sir," Neara replied standing to attention. The C-sec's Asari Agent placed a restraining hand on Ashley's shoulder, and guided her back to the others.

"So, what did he say?" Joker asked as the dejected gunnery chief let herself fall on a nearby bench.

"He let me understand that only C-sec's agents are invited to the party," she shot an vexed glance towards the retreating backs of the recon squad: the Turian officer could be easily spotted as he led them upstairs, "the fucking bastard."

"I understand your worries chief, and I would not want to arrest you. Please don't make me do it." Neara murmured quietly, her voice gentle.

"Ah, don't sweat it," Ash replied, with a soothing gesture, "I'd gladly kick somebody's ass right now, but then I'd have to face the Skipper's wrath." She almost shivered at the thought. It was never pleasant to be on the receiving end of one of Shepard's legendary outbursts.

Joker's gaze went from her scowling face to Liara's preoccupied one, and he scratched his beard pensively. "Can't you sense her?" he blurted out finally, his eyes fixed on the scientist's face.

Liara inclined her head. "Sense her?" she repeated, a confused expression on her face.

"Yes. I mean, you and Shepard are paired right?" he asked, lowering his voice to a whisper, "I thought that Asari developed a telepathic link with their partners."

"I wish it could be that simple, Lieutenant," the scientist replied sadly, "but the answer is no. By the Goddess! You almost make it sound like magic!"

Ashley knew that what Liara had said was not entirely true. As the young maiden had explained to her, during the Union as two souls became one, it was possible to experience a telepathic tie. It usually happened when those who joined were very close to each other, but that situation only lasted a few hours and was tiring for both partners. A permanent link, like the one Joker had hinted at, was physically impossible to stand.

The pilot's cheeks had reddened slightly and he averted his eyes. "I meant no offence," he mumbled.

"None was taken," Liara gave him a reassuring smile, but although she was trying to put on a brave face, Ashley could see that concern filled her eyes and her voice trembled with fear. An awkward silence enveloped them.

"We could join the others on the transport. There's nothing we can do here." Joker suggested half-heartedly, squirming uneasily in his seat when he saw the women's indignant looks.

"No!" Liara opposed fiercely. Her blue eyes had hardened and shone like sapphires in the dim light. "We told her we would have waited for her here. What if she does not find us when she arrives? What if she...if she..." Her voice faltered as a second, more terrifying option haunted her mind.

"What can we do?" she asked in a hushed, desperate voice.

"We wait," Ashley put a comforting arm around Liara's slumped shoulders, "we pray."

* * *

An acrid smell filled Kyla's nostrils, making her eyes sting. The circuit hissed, but did not burst into flames as Malena had feared. The overheated wires however scorched her hands and she dropped them with a muttered curse. Scarlet welts criss-crossed her palms, and soon enough they would begin to burn. She fought down the increasing pain, and raised her head.

The metal door had opened only partially, but enough to let them slip through.

"Run!" Kyla shoved the Matriarch outside, and they launched themselves down the short flight of stairs that led to the Presidium, taking two or three steps at a time. Even though they moved as fast as they could, the explosion's force caught them off-guard and lifted them into the air, tossing them about as though they were made of twigs. A monstrous wave of air hit their backs as hot as a dragon's breath, and sent them sprawling to the ground. Kyla tried to cushion her fall with her arms, but failed and hit the floor head first: white-hot lightning flashed across her vision and her head seemed to quiver with excruciating pain. She ground her teeth to fight back a howl, but a low grunt escaped her lips anyway. Malena, who had been more fortunate in her fall, rose shakily to her feet and rushed to the injured Spectre's side.

"Commander, can you move?" The Matriarch's worried and somewhat blurry face hovered just inches above her own.

"I don't see... very well," Kyla's short hair was matted with something wet and more of that unknown liquid rolled down her face.

"Is it raining?" her voice sounded alien to her own ears. How could rain be so hot?

Malena did not answer and sneaked a gentle but firm arm around her waist to pull her to her feet. The world swayed around her and she leaned against the Asari's body to keep her balance.

"Come Kyla, we must get out of here," the Matriarch urgently murmured into the Spectre's ear as she pulled her along. The ceiling cracked ominously, and the metal slabs above them began to bend as if they were going to collapse upon their heads.

Thick, black smoke poured down the corridor choking them, and their lungs burned, consumed by the inner fires of agony as they moved away in search of fresh air. Roaring flames followed in their wake, urging them on and searing their backs with unbearable heat. The fire's blazing light cast gigantic shadows on the walls and tinged the metal surfaces with iridescent shades of red and yellow.

It seemed, to Shepard's hallucinated mind, that a wide portion of Hell had been somehow transferred aboard the Citadel, and that she and Malena were trying to escape from Cerberus' gaping jaws.

* * *

Anteus sighed with relief as the holographic sun finally reached its zenith. In less than ten minutes that tedious guard duty would be over, and he did not have another until the next week. The very thought made him a happier Turian.

His stomach rumbled loudly, reminding him it was almost lunch-time. He would probably end up in the C-sec's mess again: the Flux was far too noisy for his taste and Chora's Den... well the food they served down there had an unsettling resemblance to radioactive puddles. As for the embassy lounge, where most of his fellow officers liked to eat, he found it far too expensive.

A huge bang, followed by a blinding flash of light interrupted his thoughts, and he snapped back to reality.

A few blocks away, an oily, dark column of smoke had risen into the sky, hiding the sun and tainting the air with a pungent stench.

_It can't be happening, _he moaned inwardly,_ not on my shift._

His subordinates, most of them recruits, stared in the same direction, a mix of excitement and terror on their faces.

Anteus seemed petrified as if unseen roots had grown under his feet and glued him to the pavement. It took him several moments to realize that someone was calling his name.

One of the other Turian agents had grabbed his arm and was forcefully shaking it to gain his attention.

"What are the orders, sir? Is this another Geth attack?" as he voiced that possibility, his yellow eyes widened in horror.

"Do not be silly," Anteus growled, more rudely than intended. He hefted his gun, making sure that it was properly loaded, and gestured towards the smoke, "two of you remain here and guard the Tower's entrance, The rest of you follow me."

He led them to the ruined building and they wearily approached its entrance, weapons at the ready. Anteus raised a gloved fist and signalled for them to stop. At his command, his men fanned out behind him, every gun pointed at the door.

"The smoke's too thick," he coughed, "we can't go inside!"

Sudden movement caught his attention and he snapped his rifle up to his shoulder, ready to fire on whoever was to emerge from the building.

Two figures staggered outside: the soot that stained their faces added a somewhat barbaric quality to their features, but he recognized them anyway. Shepard was clinging desperately to the Matriarch as if unable to stand without the Asari's help. Anteus could see the that the commander's face was covered in blood and her eyes seemed veiled as though she was immersed in a deep state of stupor.

The matriarch stopped. She swept her serene gaze over the gathered agents, ignoring the numerous weapons aimed at her chest. Before Anteus could open his mouth to demand an explanation, she spoke.

"You, you and you... panic," she ordered to his stunned subordinates, then her gaze shifted to him. "You. Come with me."


	10. Chapter 9: In Rerum Trepidis

Chapter nine- In Rerum Trepidis

Tiny droplets of steam condensed on the outside of the bowl, and more spiralled up from the brownish stew, filling the mess hall with a a pleasant smell. Malena grasped the ceramic pot between numb fingers, trying to soak up some of its warmth, but though the surface was almost too hot to touch, the icy chills that ran down her spine did not lessen.

She lazily toyed with the spiced food that filled her plate, then pushed it away: the hunger that had gnawed at her stomach just moments before was completely gone. The ship's hushed atmosphere was really starting to get on her nerves and the fact the ship hadn't been cleared for take-off yet did not improve her mood in the slightest. Everyone on board seemed to step gingerly, as though they feared that brisk movements could shatter the precarious calm they had so laboriously achieved. Throughout the afternoon, or what passed for afternoon on a spaceship, she had heard the sounds of other crew members working and arguing among themselves, but the noise always turned to stillness very quickly whenever they saw one of Shepard's team-mates. They acted as though the Spectre was already dead.

Malena hastily banished the troubling possibility of Shepard's death from her mind: she would not, could not accept that thought unless it became real. As Kyla's XO she would take command of the mission if something happened to the Spectre, but she had to admit that she was scared. The full, undesired weight of responsibility would fall on her shoulders, but for the first time in years she felt out of place: Shepard had fought the Reapers successfully, while she knew nothing more about them than what was written on reports. By the Goddess! She had never seen the Sovereign, if not in the holovids that could be found on Extranet.

Pushing those dark thoughts to the back of her mind, she rose from her seat and instantly winced, feeling a sharp pain in her left shoulder. She had been luckier than Shepard, but she had badly bruised herself when she'd awkwardly fallen to the floor. She gingerly touched the aching spot: she knew that, if she removed her tunic, she would find a spectacular bruise. A year before, she would have lightly dismissed an injury like that, but now she felt as though someone was piercing her flesh with a white-hot rod. _I'm aging. _At that bitter thought, a sneer crossed her face.

Hours had passed since the doctor had chased her out of her domain, and she hoped that now she was willing to update her on the commander's state of health. _And if she doesn't, I'll make her_.She thought grimly, nursing her throbbing shoulder.

Before she could even take one step, Wrex's massive bulk blocked her way. The Krogan towered over her, as he did with almost everyone. Well, he didn't really tower for he was only a few inches taller than she, but his ever aggressive stance emphasized the impression. Even so, she had to crane her neck slightly in order to meet his gaze. His heavy armour was so polished that she could almost see her own reflection in it: under the bluish glow of the ship's neon lights it took on the same nuance of dried blood.

_An appropriate colour, considering the circumstances._ She thought glumly.

Not for the first time, she wondered why he felt the need to wear it even on board. In her experience Krogans were an untrustworthy lot, but thanks to the melding she'd shared with Shepard she knew that this individual would not only kill to protect the commander and her crew, but also put his own life at risk. It never ceased to amaze her that one as young as Shepard could inspire such loyality in those under her command.

Shepard trusted Wrex completely, and so would she unless he gave her reason to act otherwise.

"Is Doctor T'soni still down there?" The Matriarch asked, touching his arm. As soon as they had carried Shepard aboard, Benezia's daughter had positioned herself outside the infirmary's door like a silent guard and had not moved since.

Wrex nodded. "Ashley tried to convince her to eat something and get some sleep, but she would not listen. She's a stubborn one when she wants to," he snorted, giving the Matriarch a toothy grin. "care to have a try?"

"Actually yes."

Wrex's laugh was a quiet rumble. "Good luck. Myself, I'm going to have some food, if I ever find something appetizing. I don't know how you Asari can sustain yourselves on vegetables and cheese. And actually have the boldness to call it food." As if to underline his words, his stomach rumbled.

Malena's lips twitched with amusement. "We _do_ eat meat sometimes."

"Yeah, whatever." The Krogan grumbled, as he browsed the menu offered by the synthesizers, searching for something _edible_.

"Wrex?"

The battle-master turned to face her. "Yes?" His stomach rumbled again, louder this time, but he ignored it.

"You look...unconcerned. What if Shepard dies?"

The battle-master shrugged off her question with an angry shake of his scaled head. His red eyes were suddenly filled with a dangerous light and gleamed like burning coals. "Death comes for everyone eventually, and seldom where or when expected. A few lucky individuals die in their beds of course, but you know as well as I that it seldom happens to soldiers." he turned his back on her and practically marched to another food dispenser, then noisily began to rifle through the vacuum-packed rations. "Besides I will not mourn her while she still breathes," he added as an after-thought.

Malena nodded, "I'll leave you to your food, then."

"I don't like it when people question my loyality," the Krogan growled, taking a step forward, as though he meant to bar her way again- on purpose this time. Some of the rations he was carrying, fell to the floor.

"I wasn't," Malena raised both her hands in a soothing gesture.

"Then why did you ask?"

"Because I wanted to know if I can rely on you. Harder times are coming."

Wrex nodded his understanding. "She would want us to carry on the hunt, whatever the circumstances. As long as the Sovereign exists, I am loyal. "

"Now I know." Malena turned and rapidly descended to the lower deck where the medbay was housed. As she covered that short distance, her mind wandered and she found herself thinking about Anteus.

She had threatened him with much worse things than suspension, if he ever breathed word of what had happened into the wrong ear. The Citadel already overflowed with tittle-tattle, and adding more rumours to the pile would do no good. She did not doubt that he would talk anyway, but maybe he would have the decency to wait until they were long gone. And she had to admit that she would have never reached the C-Sec's hangar without his help. Images of their escape flooded into her mind.

She'd been coated in Kyla's blood, and it had taken two showers to wash it away. She was not fussy, but the memory of that scarlet liquid was indelibly etched on her mind. No shower could ever erase that.

Malena stopped at the bottom of the stairs and, using the lingering shadows as a cloak of invisibility, she silently watched the young Maiden. Liara sat on the floor, her eyes half-closed. Now and then she would lean back against a metal bulkhead. She held Shepard's bloodied shirt with shaking hands, and her fingers obsessively tormented the fabric as she tried to smooth out its creases. The Matriarch could see that she was tired. She stepped closer.

With a startled gasp, Liara clutched her lover's ruined shirt to her chest, unaware that the still fresh blood was soaking her own tunic as well.

"I did not mean to startle you Doctor T'soni, I'm sorry."

"You didn't. It's just..." her voice faltered, and her eyes were drawn to the medbay's door, as though she was under the effect of a magnetic attraction.

_Which is not far from the truth. _Malena mused wryly.

"May I keep you company?" she asked.

"Of course." Liara's tone and her eyes suggested that she didn't truly care if she stayed or not.

Malena sat on the floor near the scientist, and winced again as sore muscles ached in protest. "You should get some sleep," she suggested gently.

Shepard's lover shook her head, almost angrily. "I'm not tired." Her body belied her words though, for she was forced to press a hand over her mouth to stifle a yawn. She glared furiously at Malena over it, as though it was her fault.

_This is not going to be easy._

Liara shot her another heated glance. "How can you be so calm? How can you accept that she might... _die?_" She lowered her voice to a whisper laced with pain and sorrow.

The Matriarch lightly touched her cheek, trying to comfort her. "Child, I see our death in every day. How could I not, with the task we're following? Now that things are falling apart, I must see it as even more possible."

The scientist smiled weakly, "that's why you're a Matriarch. You see the bigger picture." She leaned back with a sigh, and stretched out her legs.

The Matriarch was glad to see that worry had not doused her inner fires. "I know that it is hard to accept our own mortality," she continued, "I have seen many deaths over the centuries, mostly violent ones, and I have caused many of them. I've come to think that time weaves us into its pattern for a reason: we are the warp and the weft of a bigger tapestry and when our destiny is fulfilled time cuts us off, and another takes our place." she heaved a tired sigh, "I'm not saying that you have to surrender. Just...be prepared." Maybe her words sounded cruel, but she did not consider them so.

Liara's face had paled, and her shoulders slumped dejectedly. "You really believe this?" She murmured, as tears streaked her cheeks.

"I do. Wherever we go, we walk on our ancestor's bones, ground to dust by time's merciless cogwheels." Her voice grew gentler: in her experience people listened closer to calm tones than to the loudest shouts, as long as firmness and certainty accompanied the calm, "you should really get some sleep now." Liara opened her mouth to argue, but Malena did not let her speak, "I will watch over her, do not worry."

"You'll let me know if she wakes up, won't you?"

Malena gave her a reassuring smile. "Of course I will." As Liara left for the mess and her bed, the Matriarch's eyes darkened and she concentrated in fervent prayer. _If she ever does._

* * *

The Geth stalked its prey almost leisurely. After all the wretched creature of flesh had nowhere to run. The organic glanced over her shoulder and her eyes widened in horror when she saw that the Geth was so close. It quickened its step and with a graceful motion, grabbed her arm. There was no need to waste precious ammunitions. The human -a female? It really made no difference- trembled in fear as its soulless blue eye focused on her.

The Geth's strong hand tightened its hold, squeezing that disgustingly soft flesh between cruel fingers. The female howled in pain and wildly attempted to free herself. The Geth's artificial mind could not even begin to conceive the reason why its master felt the need to use those hot-blooded beings. They broke so easily.

_Hurry. _The silent command reverberated through its circuits and flooded them with urgency. Without hesitation the Geth drew the human closer and in one swift motion snapped her neck.

Off to its left, the research facility burned, setting the horizon on fire. This time they would leave no witnesses.

* * *

_Author's note 1: this chapter is dedicated to a friend who died last year. I will remember you always._

_Author's note 2: I know I'm leaving you hanging at the end of this chapter, but when plot bunnies threaten to destroy your copy of Mass Effect, you obey. All will be explained, I promise. As always reviews are welcome._


	11. Chapter 10: Awakening

Chapter ten- Awakening

"I'll buy a card," Ashley mumbled, before taking another sip of that funny tasting liquid that asari drank instead of coffee. The tiny fiches she had carelessly thrown on the table, clattered loudly.

"And another you shall have," Joker declared as he scooped up the colourful plastic discs. Tali snatched up some more from the impressive pile that was in front of her, and pressed them into the pilot's waiting hands. "I think, I'll follow her example," she murmured.

Joker could have sworn that her eyes were glinting with mischief though one could never be sure with quarians, since their faces were permanently hidden behind features-blurring visors. He groaned inwardly, as his gaze drifted to the growing stack of her winnings. She had learned the game quite quickly, and now he was paying the consequences. He should have never taught her to play.

They had practically sealed themselves into the room that Ashley shared with the Quarian engineer. The room was far from large, but none of them wanted to endure the crew's stares more than absolutely necessary. The resigned looks and the whispers that followed them wherever they went, did nothing to improve the general mood of the team. More than once Joker had found himself thinking about the possibility of loosing his commander: he had already undergone such a trial before Anderson chose him for the Normandy, but the relationship between him and Shepard was different. She was a friend and loosing a friend is never easy.

So they were playing poker -except for Kyla and Liara, of course. He wondered for a brief moment if the doctor was still outside the medbay's door. Garrus was also absent: he had excused himself after half an hour, muttering something about "needing some fresh air" and Joker, having spent three hours more cheek by jowl with a krogan, was starting to feel the need too.

_He's probably drooling over the vehicle that's stored in the lower decks. _The pilot mused, trying to concentrate on the game.

Wrex snatched up a handful of their stakes to examine them. "I still think it would be more fun if you were betting food," he grumbled, sniffing them disdainfully. He even licked one with the tip of his tongue.

Joker rolled his eyes at him. "Remember last time Wrex? It _was_ fun until you came and ate our stakes."

"I was hungry. Besides you would not let me play." He threw down the plastic discs and opened another of the rations he had found in the mess. Several empty packets already littered the floor.

"Speaking of food, how many of those are you going to eat? At this rate we'll run out of supplies before we reach our destination." Joker teased.

The battle-master squeezed the package and gulped down some of the unrecognisable , yellowish paste that it contained. He burped loudly.

"This is the fifth," he said, giving the pilot one of his wicked grins, "and don't worry about supplies. If I finish them, we can always eat you."

Meeting the krogan's blood-red eyes with a level gaze was not easy, and Joker shivered under that malicious stare. Before he could come up with a witty remark of his own, the door opened.

Garrus stopped on the threshold, and when his eyes fell on the table, his side mandibles flexed furiously as they always did when he was angry.

"How can you play cards in a moment like this?" He grated, irises blazing like blue ice in the sun, "how _dare_ you?"

Joker raised his voice defensively, "What should we do? Look, I've thought about the possibility that Shepard might die until I gave myself a headache." As it always happened to him when he got into an argument, he found himself at a disadvantage. To meet the Turian's reproachful gaze he had to crane his neck and Garrus -well aware of the situation- moved closer until his shadow fell on the pilot like a silent menace. Joker squared his shoulders and met him glare for glare: the Turian had found his match.

* * *

_The sky above her was an impossible, maddening sight. Striated clouds, in blacks and greys, reds and oranges streamed by as if storm winds drove them. Barren hills surrounded her, and cold, hard soil crunched under her boots. She scrambled past boulders twice as tall as she was: everything was covered by dust as though that place did not even remember the taste of rain. Patches of fog covered the ground, their thick surface rolling in grim waves, rolling and breaking against the jagged rocks like an ocean without water, even though no breath of breeze stirred across the land._

_As she walked, a copse of trees appeared ahead, their branches bare as in the dead of the coldest winter. She quickened her pace: after all she had nowhere else to go._

_A lone man sat under one of the trees- his eyes closed, but when she approached him he raised his head. In the murky light his features were barely visible._

"_I've been waiting for you." He murmured softly._

"_Kaidan?" She stared at him in disbelief. He was, and yet as she looked more closely she saw that his features shifted and each change roused different memories tied to people she had loved or lost. Or killed._

"_You left me behind," he growled accusingly. His dark eyes shone coldly, and his voice whipped her spirit without pity. His face changed back into Kaidan's._

"_I had no other choice," she answered and a pleading tone entered her voice, "you said you understood."_

"_Is that so? Or maybe you feared I would step between you and your little Asari bitch," he went on with a twisted, sickened grin. Unbearable pain gripped Kyla's chest, and her mouth opened wide as she struggled for breath. How could he be so cruel? She had seen him angry before, but he had never hurt her on purpose. _

"_You are not real," she murmured, trying to work some moist into her mouth. Her lips were parched and she felt as if life was slipping between her fingers. It could not be Kaidan. That was the obvious explanation. _

"_Am I? Are you? Here it makes no difference." He began to move, watching her like a starved hawk would have watched a rabbit. Kyla panicked taking a step back, and something snapped under her foot. She lowered her gaze: the fog had lifted and now she could see that the road was paved with skulls._

"_This is your past," Kaidan hissed, "and your future," he raised a finger, pointing it towards the horizon: the road stretched on and on, apparently endless. Despair filled her. "Is that all there is for me?" she shouted, as tears dampened her cheeks. "Answer me!"_

_Mad laughter filled her ears. "Why don't you find out? Maybe you can change your fate." The sarcasm in his voice said he did not believe she would. _

_He rapidly approached her and before she could flinch away from his touch, he placed his hands on her shoulders. Suddenly the smell of decay filled the air. Kyla's eyes widened in horror and disgust as she saw that he was dissolving in front of her: his skin had turned the same grey as the earth beneath their feet and, as she watched, rot pitted his face, exposing the flesh and bone underneath. _

"_I showed you what might be." As he spoke his final lines, the light dimmed, "prove me wrong if you can. It will amuse me greatly to see you try." His hands tightened their hold and he pushed her hard, shoving her away. A hole opened under her feet like a ravenous mouth. She teetered on the precipice's edge, then the ground gave way and she lost her balance. What waited at the end of that fall? Life eternal or everlasting fire? A varren would have starved on the difference. _

"_This is a dream! A dream, and I'm going to wake up!" she screamed in defiance._

"_Will you?" Carried by a freezing wind, Kaidan's voice filled her ears with mocking whispers. "Will you ever wake again?"_

_Darkness swallowed everything._

* * *

Sensing the upcoming storm, Ashley pushed back her chair and stood, placing a restraining hand on the agent's shoulder. "We share your worries," she murmured urgently, and her concerned gaze searched his face as though she was trying to read his thoughts. Garrus' angular features gave away nothing, but his eyes sparkled with fury. They absorbed the light, and reminded Ashley of that time on Feros, when she had come face-to-face with the varren pack-leader. The Turian's gaze spoke of a dangerous, primal fury and he tensed, poised of the brink of violence. The gunnery chief knew that, if provoked further, he would unleash his rage with devastating effects. She had seen it happen before.

Feeling her touch, he turned to face her and grimaced. The crude clan markings on his skin emphasized his fierceness. Ashley's breath caught in her throat as images of ruin played before her eyes. Without Shepard's strong leadership the team was falling to pieces, their bond of friendship bending under the strain.

Knotted muscles twitched uncontrollably under her fingers, as he struggled to suppress his emotions, then as tension left him, he hid his face behind his paws in shame. "I'm sorry Joker," came a hoarse whisper, "I just feel so... useless."

The pilot shrugged and made a soothing gesture: their quarrel already forgotten.

"We all do," Ashley led the shaken Turian to an empty chair, "but the commander would not want us to-"

Their suits' radios began to beep all at once interrupting her, and Malena's crisp voice filled their ears. As the others rushed outside to reach the comm room, she stayed behind, snatched up Joker's crutches, and helped the struggling pilot to his feet. He grunted when stiff muscles refused to cooperate. _This can't be good news, _she thought as they followed in their team-mates' wake._ It can't be._

* * *

Anteus crept hesitantly along the corridor: that part of the Citadel was sparsely populated, and his footsteps echoed in the silence. A thick carpet of debris covered the floor and a cloud of dust rose as he walked. Anteus coughed.

Off to his left, something moved and a full-armoured figure emerged from the shifting shadows.

"Hey there," the Turian greeted nervously, "you brought the credits?" A b transaction would have been safer, but those operations were easily tracked.

"Of course I did," his interlocutor answered, coming closer. His face was hidden behind the armour's helmet.

A greedy light filled Anteus' eyes. "Where are they?" The man -at least he thought he was a man- did not carry anything.

"Oh, they're right here."

Flashing steel caught the agent's attention and realizing that something was wrong, he hastily stepped back, fumbling for his pistol.

In that secluded part of the station no one would hear his screams.

* * *

Inside the quiet, deserted medbay her body jerked up convulsively, hands tightening on cloth. A blanket?

As terror engulfed her, Kyla Shepard opened her eyes and screamed.


End file.
